Those of you who know me well enough to have read my previous post may be surprised to see this one – wasn’t I supposed to be boycotting the Oscars for snubbing May December almost entirely despite it being obviously one of the best films of 2023? Well, those of you who know me better know that I never had any intention of keeping my word; I’ll talk shit about the Oscars for months, threatening that last time was the LAST TIME I watch…and then always come crawling back for another disappointment. This year, though? Well, this year was different. My cynicism was more half-hearted, my exaggerated disgust largely muted. The reason’s simple, really: I liked the movies nominated. A lot. So I felt much more willing to enter this year’s Academy Awards ceremony with a modicum of – dare I say it? – optimism. It didn’t hurt that pretty much every major award had already been decided beforehand; there was very little room for an upset and the biggest we ended up getting was a close-second Emma Stone pulling ahead of Lily Gladstone. As a result I came in with expectations I was fairly confident would be met, both good and bad, when it came to the awards themselves. So what’s left? Well, let’s casually discuss! That’s right, this ain’t a lengthy, wordy analysis, this is just me informally talking about the Oscars! What a breath of fresh air…
A good:
There were a couple big swings that weren’t quite homers but drove a couple runs in at the very least. First and most, uh, revealing was John Cena’s bit where he’s just straight up naked. That’s pretty much the whole bit – he’s presenting Best Costume Design but he’s not wearing any clothes. Need a bit be any more complicated? Absolutely not, it was hilarious and bold and was even a callback to an infamous Oscars moment five decades ago. This is the realization of true Oscars bit potential.
A bad:
Let’s get it over with: What the fuck were Octavia Spencer and Melissa McCarthy doing up there? They clearly weren’t under the influence of anything as far as I could tell, they’re both ostensibly talented performers, yet this was the lowest of low points for a show full of…well, mostly middling moments. Their bit felt like it was being done at gunpoint by Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker who’d just gotten word that there exists in our universe both Chip ‘n Dale and Chippendales. It didn’t help that I had just rewatched the 30 Rock episode where Octavia Spencer is a lunatic nightmare version of herself on a movie set; I couldn’t quite get that to leave my head while watching her struggle through second after agonizing second of cringe. The Game Awards aspire to this level of cringe.
A good:
Announcing the acting categories utilizing past winners in said category. Brilliant decision, very decent execution. Not every previous winner gave a particularly impassioned introduction to their present counterpart but the idea was strong enough to overshadow any weaknesses. I’ll be shocked if they don’t make this the permanent structure and I think they’d be sorely mistaken to make this a one-and-done. It’s the perfect mix of reverence for this year’s nominees and nostalgia for the winners of both recent and distant history and I loved it.
A bad:
Another very obvious one – Al Pacino announcing Best Picture. I’ve heard plenty of defenses thus far – “he’s a legend, he just needed to show up!” “He’s 83, give him a break!” “Nolan directed him in Insomnia and now he announced Nolan’s movie as the winner, it’s poetic!” – none of them can convince me that this was anything but an absolutely terrible decision from the get-go. Anyone who saw Al Pacino present at The Game Awards (why do they keep coming up?) knew exactly what we were inevitably gonna get and yet somehow this was even worse. The brevity, the lack of coherence, the anti-climax – I’ll just come out and say it, I think this was worse than the La La Land/Moonlight fiasco just for the sheer blandness of its failure. The 2017 Oscar mixup was exciting, it was shocking, it was egregious but hilarious in retrospect! This was simply a massive wasted opportunity and the worst possible way to end an otherwise polished evening. And to be clear, I don’t blame Al Pacino in the slightest; I blame whoever asked him to present. A legend he may be, but a presenter he is not and the producers should’ve known better.
A good:
Can we appreciate, for a moment, the creativity involved in the graphics behind the presenters/winners for each award? Maybe I just happened to be more attentive this year for whatever reason but I don’t ever recall them putting in the effort to display digital recreations of various costumes from the nominees for Best Costume Design or the simpler but clever pattern of a makeup palette for Best Makeup and Hairstyling. It’s an unnecessary detail but that’s what makes it feel like there was a concerted effort to make this ceremony just a little bit more special than it has been recently.
A bad:
Was Jimmy Kimmel trying to emulate the brilliance of Norm MacDonald’s roast of Bob Saget or were his jokes just that lame for the most part? His opening monologue was bland, toothless, and predictable. His joke about RDJ was bizarre and dated, his jokes about other celebrities were tired and unoriginal, and his tone was that of someone who’s done this one too many times before – but he knows they’ll just bring him back next year. I mean, what’re they gonna do, convince some other poor soul to host? People are advocating for John Mulaney next year and I think that’s a phenomenal idea, his bit was hilarious and just the freshness we need after too many years of a passable Kimmel. His Trump joke was inspired though, I’ll give him that.
A good:
The Barbie song performances were both excellent for wildly different reasons. Billie’s voice is just astonishingly great, somehow especially in a live setting, and the song itself is no slouch either. Simple but fantastic. Then there’s I’m Just Ken: a big, loud, busy performance that was exactly what I’d hoped it would be. It was a highlight of the movie and a highlight of the night and just proves that Ryan Gosling will never be held back by those heinous accusations that he couldn’t sing or dance in the obligatory backlash La La Land received shortly after its release. And then this morning I find out he masterminded a decent chunk of the ideas and choreography? He may just be Ken but this man can do no wrong!
A bad:
Look, I’m not gonna make my final bad be American Fiction winning best Adapted Screenplay; I made my peace with its baffling victory before the show. So instead my final bad is this: Octavia Spencer and Melissa McCarthy again. Jesus, why? I feel like the world got 0.1% less funny as a result of that bit. Okay I’m done, I’ll try to forget about it!
I think this year’s Oscars ceremony was a step in the right direction in many ways and though it may still be early in 2024, I dare say I may even be looking forward to the next one. It May Dec(rem)ember what’s really important – our love and admiration for cinema and the talented people who make them! (Get it? Made us remember, May December…there’s something there, I don’t know if I quite pulled it off but there’s something there! Someone more clever than I, tell me how to make that joke work!)
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